After an intense horror film-based episode last week, X-Men ’97 takes a different approach this time.
The 1990s setting proves ideal for nostalgia, and the series leans hard into the premise with a 16-bit videogame episode.
Eurogamer
That’s right, folks. You can dust off the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo this week.
Let’s talk about X-Men ’97 episode 1-4, the one where Jubilee lives out a real-life videogame adventure.
Birthday Girl
Photo: Marvel Comics
This week’s episode celebrates the birthday girl Jubilee. Whoops, I should say the birthday woman, as Jubilee is turning 18.
How does she want to spend her big day? The gamer girl, err, woman, wants to hang out at the arcade.
Image: Disney
That’s a wholesome but decidedly unlikely way for someone to spend their 18th birthday. I guess we’re in a John Hughes movie.
Anyway, Magneto is understandably lacking in enthusiasm for the idea, allowing the Jubilee voice actress to make an exceptional impression of him.
Image: Disney
Jubilee complains from the comfort of her own room, where Sunspot joins her.
The show is just running with the idea that they’re a couple, even though it’s only been vaguely hinted at thus far.
Image: Disney
The two are still complaining when both notice a videogame console.
Oddly, neither of them claims ownership, nor have they seen a console like it. That should be the hint right there.
Image: Disney
The device is a “Motendo,” and that’s reason enough for fans of X-Men: The Animated Series to think, “Uh-oh.”
In the second season of the original show, a villain named Mojo appeared.
Photo: Marvel Contest of Champions
At the time, he was a comical character obsessed with television ratings, which no longer sounds as absurd today.
We live in a society of thumbs up, thumbs down, and click counts. Mojo, if anything, accurately predicted our dystopian times.
Happy birthday, Jubilee! Your future is gonna be horrible, and Uncle Magneto knows it!
It’s in the Game
Even though both know they don’t own a Motendo, Jubilee quickly grabs a controller.
Ten seconds later, vines and technology trap the new couple inside a video game.
Sentinels immediately try to squash the life from Sunspot, while Jubilee tries to help them both escape.
Immediately after ditching the Sentinel, they face Friends of Humanity nutters sporting their anti-Mutant weapons.
Fortunately, help comes in the form of…a phone booth. Yes, we’ve officially entered The Matrix, even though that’s an anachronism.
The movie didn’t come out until 1999. Bad X-Men ’97 producers!
Anyway, they find themselves enslaved in Genosha, which is familiar territory to Jubilee, as it’s a callback to another classic episode.
Speaking of which, a helmeted vigilante assists the couple.
Before they can reveal their identity, they vanish from the simulation, replaced by the man behind the curtain.
A slimmed down Mojo reintroduces himself to Jubilee, and she’s thoughtful enough to comment on his weight loss.
Like Bob Iger, Mojo has become aware of something called a videogame.
Apparently, teenagers play those rather than watch television. Who knew? Well, the answer is most people…but not iger or Mojo.
So, the former television guru – Mojo, not Iger – has reinvented himself for the modern era.
Now, Mojo creates games and livestreams them to entertain people throughout the universe.
The agitator has chosen Jubilee because she’s a draw…and Dazzler costs too much.
A lot of this sequence is funny, but I laughed hard at the television references.
Mojo posts a montage showing the similarities between the X-Men and shows like Who’s the Boss, A Different World, and Divorce Court.
That last one references the fact that Cyclops impregnated Jean Grey’s clone rather than Jean Grey.
Boss Fight
As if the gaming references haven’t been enough so far, the next scene goes full old-school 16-bit.
Jubilee enters a game akin to X-Men Arcade and X-Men vs. Street Fighter.
It’s enough to make me regret not buying that Arcade 1Up limited edition of X-Men ’97.
Anyway, Jubilee wins a couple of fights before a combo wrecks her. At this point, a “glitch” takes her back to full health.
We learn that someone is working within the system to help Jubilee. The odds of that helmeted person not being Jubilee are about zero.
Soon afterward, Mojo gets angry and creates a boss fight with Magneto against Sunspot and Jubilee.
Since Sunspot won’t use his powers, Magneto kills him. Then, an extra life button appears, allowing Jubilee to bring Sunspot back.
Afterward, Mojo appears as the final boss. And he’s fat again.
Meanwhile, Jubilee does some investigating and realizes that the other character is an older version of Jubilee. Shocker.
The three of them work to defeat Fat Mojo, who isn’t a very good gamer, just an obsessed one. I’ve got zero patience for tryhards.
His death sends Jubilee and Sunspot back to her room, where they kiss as sparks fly. Happy birthday, Jubilee!
A lot of this was silly, but it was also fittingly retro. I quite liked it overall.
The LIFEDEATH Arc
A strange thing happens as Jubilee’s story ends with ten minutes remaining in the episode.
A graphic pops up, and it says LIFEDEATH – Part 1.
I feel a twinge of looming horror over this, knowing the comic book story.
To my surprise, Part 1 dives straight into the worst part of the comic.
We’re witnessing a love story between Forge and Storm, but this relationship was doomed before it ever started.
During an intimate dinner in Forge’s home, the two of them discuss his powers, which include the ability to create anything.
Remember that random weapon from Magneto’s trial that stripped Storm of her powers? The one nobody had seen before?
Yeah, you can see where this is going. But first, the duo goes on a romantic horseback ride through the desert.
Later, Forge tries to perfect a weapon to restore Storm’s powers. It fails, and I presume the reason why is negation.
Like the philosophical question of whether an omnipotent being can create a stone they can’t lift, Forge cannot build something that counters a previous creation.
That’s only my suspicion for now, but it makes sense.
The Adversary
Image: Disney
Anyway, Storm learns the truth that her current crush is also the source of her waking nightmare. It’s like a Hallmark movie produced in Hell.
In fact, the episode ends with Ororo falling off her horse into a deep crevice, only to wake up back at Forge’s home.
Image: Disney
At this point, a demon appears, bites Forge in the threat, and tells Storm that she is The Adversary.
Apparently, this being feeds on suffering, which makes the recently depowered Avenger a buffet for the ages.
Image: Disney
Stay tuned to learn more in Part 2, which hopefully includes the would-be lovers overcoming the drama.
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